BULIMIA, ANOREXIA, SUICIDE AND SELF-DESTRUCTION
When the soul takes us directly towards the solution to all our disruption and imbalance.
I am in Milan. I came here to do a themed retreat about human relationships, the central topic is the distance we humans maintain and the un-love that this produces. How can we unprogram this mechanism? Then we are creating an opening up to the possibility of coming closer to a source of love.
Yesterday, Saturday, when I was eating lunch in the kitchen of our house in Milan with Eric and Claudia, Vittoria came to see me – a young, very beautiful woman – wanting to speak with me. She is a member of our international organisation. We met about 2 years ago, more or less. This is the first time she has come to speak with me of her own volition. She crouched down in front of me and told me lots of things about her process of healing bulimia, the relapses and everything that goes with these eating disorders. I asked her: ‘do you live with people who care about you?’. She responded: ‘Yes. They even love me. I live in the Inner Mastery epicentre in Rome. In this commune everyone loves me, but before this I was in Germany and in other houses belonging to the organisation and everywhere people love me, accept me, treat me well… I can’t do it anymore… There’s nowhere left where I am rejected or treated badly…’ Then she got emotional and looking me in the eye she said: I’M ESCAPING LOVE.
Up until that moment I had been eating, but in seeing such a sight, I quickly grabbed my phone and took a photo of her. I didn’t want to lose that moment. I said to her: thank you for this encounter and for this image that you are gifting me, because it inspires me to publish tomorrow a post about the obsession with running away from love. We laughed and I said: the process is in motion, I don’t need to saying anything to you, you are walking the path back to your being and to opening yourself up to receive the love that you deserve.
In the afternoon we all played a game to anonymously express a secret related to our relationships, our sexuality, our partner, etc The written pieces of paper were a great document to demonstrate, from many different optics, the inexplicable human suffering that comes from all of our relationships. With the intention of making a cocktail of anecdotes and questions, we read them all together without knowing whose they were. Then I carried out a conceptual synthesis of what I was outlining and we arrived at a collective definition of the situation: MY LIFE DEPENDS ON OTHERS. HUMAN HAPPINESS IS IN THE HANDS OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS. THE SUM OF ALL OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS CONTAINTS THE KEYS AND THE SECRETS TO OUR SUFFERING.
For many hours we have been submerged in a single topic: the impossibility of creating and sustaining relationships that are satisfactory or that allow us to live relaxed and at peace, in a state of enjoyment. We are going deeper into the impotence we feel from the fact that we have closed ourselves up to the experience of love. This essential denial of something transcendent in our lives comes with an expensive bill; sometimes it costs us our health and even our life. It is possible that many of the people with diverse terminal diseases and others who take their own lives, have a point in common that they haven’t opened themselves up tol ove, to receive and to give love. Because this is the vital exchange that gives meaning to life, that connects us with others and that creates a network that sustains us, contains us and inspires us forwards towards the heights of bliss.
IT SEEMS THAT THE HEALING OF OUR SOUL IS RELATED TO THE UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION OF HAVING TO GO THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE OF LOVE.
Today, Sunday 6th October, we finish a retreat where more than 30 people have come here open to receiving everything they deserve. We have undergone a process of recoverying dignity, because innocence is the basis for deservedness of love and of everything that comes to us, fills and fulfills us completely.
We are going to Rome, Madrid, Marbella, Barcelona, Buenos Aires, Estambul, Tel Aviv and other great cities to do this same retreat. This has been the first of a long series of encounters in which we come together for this: WITH DARING AND WITH COURAGE, TO GET CLOSER TO LOVE.
Alberto José Varela